The Royal Palm Hotel Rating: 3.5 Pearls

South Beach, Miami, Florida

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A luggage porter

It's not easy to keep-up with the Loews, the full-service luxury machine next door, but the Royal Palm gives it their best effort. There's always a team of porters outside, a receptionist duo at the front desk, and ample staff on hand at the pool, the restaurant, and the gift shop.

Room service comes in a hurry, and towels were at my room just minutes after they were requested. I was never left waiting or wanting.

The only recognizable problem was that my room service tray was left in the hallway overnight, even after I called earlier in the evening to have it cleaned up (as they instructed me to do when they delivered the food). For this, I give an overtly haughty, semi-enthusiastic "tisk tisk."

View on a Larger Map

The Royal Palm is just a short walk from everywhere I wanted to be in South Beach. It's on the beach, near vibrant Lummus Park, couture shopping on Lincoln Road, chichi party spots like the Florida Room, rowdy dives like Mac's Club Deuce, great restaurants like Tiramesu, and even all-night diners like Jerry's Famous Deli.

The Tower Partial Ocean View Suite

On check-in, I was inexplicably upgraded to the Tower Suite (perhaps they liked my face, perhaps they didn't have the heart to stick me in an old, battered room elsewhere in the hotel). On any account, the room was immaculate, modern, and huge (especially compared to those in all the Art Deco hotels in Miami).

My balcony was useless. It was just an unfurnished outdoor ledge, and using it was akin to leaning out an open window. But aside from this, the room was perfectly comfortable.

The bathroom was large, glowing, and modern. But I had mixed feelings about the large window in the shower -- a beautiful ocean view that upset my otherwise prudish sensibilities.

Based on reviews by some of the grossed-out guests on TripAdvisor, however, it appears that my room was a sparkling anomaly. As such, I made efforts to view some of the other rooms around the property. However, the management would only allow me to take a look at another newly redone Ocean View room during my stay. While the hotel casually goes about its complete renovation, it seems they prefer to keep some rooms hidden.

The Ocean View Pool

The features aren't on par with the nearby luxury brands and I felt a bit ripped off by the $19 "resort fee" for use of the pool, a shoddy (at best) Wi-Fi service, and an oppressively warm outdoor fitness room with some cardio machines, rubber mats, and industrial fans strapped to the ceiling.

Still, it was clear that the Royal Palms works to keep the essentials at least operational. Both outdoor pools were clean, although the sun beds and cabanas looked a bit worn. During my visit, the Deco Lounge and restaurant were routinely empty (if merely because it was the off-season), but there was always some bored-looking bartender on hand to refill the ice bin.

The pool, restaurant, grounds, and my room were all kept tidy; I had no complaints.