Techies, venture capitalists, and entrepreneurs will descend upon New York City for TechCrunch's Disrupt conference next week. Although we're hotel experts, we're also based in NYC and love this city dearly -- the conference neighborhood is our backyard. We've put together a short guide on where to stay, eat, and play right near the conference. Enjoy! (And when you're done, check out our funny and popular Photo Fakeouts.)

Last Minute Hotels

You were smart enough to invest in Zynga

The Standard New York: It's too late to get the discount that was offered to conference attendees, but who needs a discount when you've made great investments? Propped above the elevated Highline Park and the epicenter of NYC cool, this sexy hotel offers sumptuous rooms and plenty of hip options for drinking, eating, and partying. Plus, who knows -- maybe TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington will be shacking up in this not-too-shabby suite. Rooms during the Disrupt start at $485 per night. Book Now

You’re still desperately pitching for seed money

The Jane Hotel: This popular boho chic landmark in the West Village is known for its shared bathrooms and hilariously small rooms, as well as the accompanying low rates. Its larger, quainter Captain Cabin rooms are still available from some providers for $275/night. Cafe Gitane restaurant and a popular bar are both on site. Book Now

You want to party like the venture capitalist you are

Hotel Gansevoort: Though some may say the six-year-old hotel is no longer the "it" spot, it's still got a sleek design, sexy mood lighting, a lauded rooftop pool, a hip rooftop bar, a chic new lounge, a Japanese restaurant -- the list goes on. Booking providers still have a few rooms available for $299/night. Book Now

You're waiting for your AOL stock to come back up

Cosmopolitan Hotel: It's not the best hotel in NYC, but beggars can't be choosers, so they say. There's a cozy café, free Wi-Fi, and flatscreen TVs. It's just a short drive to the conference on the West Side Highway, and rooms during the conference start at $215/night. Book Now

You haven’t made money yet, but you’re confident

Greenwich Hotel: Our favorite boutique in NYC, this hotel opened by Robert de Niro in 2008 has large, homey rooms, the popular Locanda Verde restaurant, a cozy lobby, and a plant-filled courtyard. It's all about style, design, and class. Rooms during the conference start at $525/night. Book Now

Where to Eat

Beer and Brats ($$)

The Standard Biergarten: On a warm day the Biergarten is the place to be for sausage, rowdiness, and even some ping pong. (848 Washington St., at Little W. 12th St.; 212-645-4646) See Map

Korean Lunch ($$)

Do Hwa: Korean fare in a stylish space; grill your own food right at the table, or try the traditional bibimbap. (55 Carmine St., between Bedford St. and 7th Ave.; 212-414-1224) See Map

Cozy Brunch ($$)

Blue Ribbon Bakery: Cozy spot known for its brunch (poached eggs six different ways, inventive sandwiches) as well as its dinner (35 Downing St. at Bedford St.; 212-337-0404) See Map

Burger Institution ($)

Shake Shack: You'll have to travel to Madison Square Park (and probably wait in a long line), but the burgers, piled-high hot dogs, and custard milkshakes are worth it. (South end of Madison Square Park, between Broadway and Madison Ave.) See Map

Insiders' Cupcakes ($)

Billy's Bakery: It may lack Magnolia's name recognition, but the cupcakes are no less delicious (and many would say, even better). (184 Ninth Ave., at W. 21st St.; 212-647-9956) See Map

Schmooze a Hip C++’er ($$$)

Pastis: This "see and be seen" spot -- known for its brunch -- remains packed even after 11 years. (9 Ninth Ave., at Little W. 12th St.; 212-929-5676) See Map

Healthy Mediterranean ($$$)

Fig & Olive: Health-conscious eaters love the variety of Mediterranean-influenced salads, carpaccio, and charcuterie. (420 W. 13th St., between Ninth Ave. and Washington St.; 212-924-1200) See Map

Wine & Dine VC Investors ($$$$)

Colicchio and Sons: Gorgeous bar and dining space from James Beard's 2010 Outstanding Chef; perfect for a business meeting when you're aiming to impress. (85 Tenth Ave., at 15th St; 212-400-6699) See Map

Outdoor Cafe ($$)

La Bottega: Snack on light fare (salads, paninis) at a charming outdoor restaurant. (88 Ninth Ave, between 16th and 17th Sts.; 212-243-8400) See Map

Foodie Hotspot, Open Late ($$$)

Blue Ribbon: Fruits de mer and meaty delights (beef marrow, pigeon, burgers) until 4 a.m., seven days a week. (97 Sullivan St., nr. Spring St.; 212-274-0404) See Map

Tasty Tacos ($$)

Cabrito: Delicious tacos, huaraches, inventive cocktails, and plenty more for a boistorous after-work crowd. (50 Carmine St., between Bleecker and Bedford Sts.; (212) 929-5050) See Map

Chocolate Treats ($)

Jacques Torres Chocolate: Choco-lovers can sample specialties like "Wicked" hot chocolate and nut-filled chocolate bark, plus watch vintage machines turn cacao beans into deliciousness. (350 Hudson St., between King and Charlton Sts.; 212-414-2462) See Map

Whiskey, Mostly ($$$)

Rye House: Impressive selection of bourbon, rye, Scotch, Irish whiskey, and other spirits (and sandwiches and small plates to help soak up the liquor). (11 West 17th St., between 5th and 6th Aves.; 212-255-7260) See Map

Historic Pub, Live Music ($)

Ear Inn: A historic landmark built in 1817, this is the spot for cheap food, afternoon beers, and live music three nights a week. (326 Spring St., at Greenwich St.; 212-226-9060) See Map

Liquid Lunch ($)

White Horse Tavern: This historic pub has a great outdoor patio (a rare thing in NYC); sailors and 20th-century writers would feel right at home. (567 Hudson St. at 11th St.; 212-989-3956) See Map

A Break from the Panels

Film Forum (209 W. Houston Street between Varick St. and Sixth Ave.): This non-profit, 40-year-old theater screens independent, foreign, classic, and retrospective films. Next week's schedule includes "Two in the Wave," about the friendship between filmmakers Jean-Luc Godard and Francois Truffaut.

High Line Park (Tenth Ave. between Gansevoort and W. 20th Sts.): Opened in 2009 atop an abandoned elevated freight railroad, this beautifully landscaped park seems to float amidst the cityscape, offering fantastic views. A great place for a picnic.

City Winery (155 Varick St. at Vandam St.): Manhattan's first winery in 40 years, City Winery is at once a wine bar, a restaurant, a place to make your own wine, and a music venue. On May 24, actor Jeff Daniels will perform his blues guitar songs (view the upcoming schedule).

Alphaville Vintage Toy Store (226 W. Houston between Varick St. and Sixth Ave.): Retro toys and movie posters from the 1940s through the '70s -- think World's Fair memorabilia, children's books, and space-age paraphernalia.

Chelsea Market (75 Ninth Ave. between 15th and 16th Sts.): The first Oreo cookie was made in this former Nabisco factory; these days, the ground floor is a bustling market with bakeries, cafes, and other high-end eateries and shops.

Don't Get Duped: See Hotel Reality with Oyster's Photo Fakeouts

Photo Fakeout: Hotel 91

It seems that the Hotel 91 is trying hard to distance itself from its actual location -- under the Manhattan Bridge, in the bustling heart of Chinatown. Read more.

Photo Fakeout: The Soho Grand

Something tells us that Lindsay Lohan and her handlers would not be impressed with this: check out the rumpled bed linens we encountered at the luxe NYC celebrity haunt The Soho Grand. Read more.

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