Planning a vacation? Looking for a destination that’s going to put you to sleep? Somewhere that’s going to really make your trip drag like detention? Then pick Italy, a place that’s really, really boring. Honestly. So boring. Here's why.
Nobody that important lives in Vatican City. Pope? Nothing special.
Residenza Paolo VI has views of the Vatican.
La Dolce Vita can get a bit monotonous. The "Sweet Life" all the time? No thanks.
Riomaggiore, Cinque Terre, Italian Riviera
Rome is tediously ancient.
San Giovanni, Rome
And its buildings are basically ruins.
Why would something built in 81 AD entertain us?
The Roman Forum
Naples is as dull as the food it invented.
Naples' eccentric Hotel Europeo & Flowers
And pizza is the worst food ever.
Neopolitan pizza by Leandro Neumann Ciuffo via Flickr
The coast is bland and lifeless.
Amalfi, Amalfi Coast, Italy
And Capri is just okay, too.
View from Capri's Hotel Weber Ambassador
Sure, there are lakes.
Baveno, Lake Maggiore, Piedmont
But the beauty of Italian villages is totally predictable with their quaint, otherworldly charm.
The village of Manarola, Italian Riviera
San Gimignano, Tuscany, Italy
Bologna is good looking...but it knows it.
Bologna, Province of Bologna, Emilia-Romagna
And all Florence really ever inspired was the Italian Renaissance.
The lobby at the Four Seasons Hotel Firenze, Florence
And the odd cathedral.
The view from the Grand Hotel Cavour
Italy's cars are practical; nothing more.
The classic Fiat 500
The Dolomites are just your standard mountain range.
San Vigilio di Marebbe, Trentino Dolomites, Trentino-Alto Adige
Even Venice wants to be swallowed up by its own magical lagoon.
Rialto Bridge, San Marco, Venice, Italy
Because it can’t stand being Italy’s most humdrum city.
The view from Hotel Monaco & Grand Canal, San Marco, Venice
So don't go, unless you're looking for the (mundane) vacation of a lifetime.
We hope you're convinced.