DR Photo Fakeout: This buffet looked more delicious in 1988

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Elegant cuisine
Elegant cuisine

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Not so much.

Not so much.


The following is a dream sequence, inspired by the buffet on the left (as shown on the Grand Palladium Bavaro Resort and Spa’s website):

TROY: Oh, Tammy. You know, I’m going to get around to smelling that scrumptious-looking buffet here in front of us, but right now I’m quite happily occupied with invading your personal space and sticking my nose in your perfectly-coiffed hair. When I finish sniffing your mousse and hairspray, I will inhale the sweet aroma of whatever piece of meat this gentleman is carving for us here. I’d also like to pick up that bottle of extremely expensive cabernet sauvignon sitting in the basket in front of you because that’s how I roll and some people say I look like Don Johnson.

TAMMY: Oh, Troy. You’re so dreamy. What do you say we head back up to the room to work off some of these elegant and extravagant culinary delights?

The following is not a dream sequence – and is, in fact, very real:

The buffet pictured on the right.

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