La Semana Hotel Rating: 1.0 Pearls

Flatiron, Manhattan, New York City

Pros

• Plastic flowers at entrance will never die, even during the winter
• Staff kindly leaves extra mattresses in hallways, in case guests need one
• Barbwire-covered-windows should probably almost definitely (maybe) keep out those pesky lunatic guests
• Never dull; guests might hear gunshots
• [Ed note: We kid, of course. There's really nothing good about this hotel.]

Cons

• Hallway odors smell like a combination of chemical fire, ground pork, and North Jersey tanning salon
• Hole-y ceilings, Batman!
• Door-less bathrooms (perhaps some kind of new French fad)

Bottom Line

It's a special kind of hotel that earns a reputation for being both disgusting AND dangerous: Within five minutes of entering La Semana, it's evident that it is both. Not only have there been reports of mentally unstable clientele and gunshots, but the check-in clerk stands behind bulletproof glass, and many rooms' windows are covered in bars and barbwire, which creates the feeling of entering a prison. The rest is downhill from there: Holes in the (barely six-foot-high) ceilings, no doors on the dirty bathrooms, exposed wires, disgustingly dirty TV remotes, furniture that looks too cheap for a tailgate party, and beds without blankets make this one of the seediest hotel experiences in New York.

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