Couples Negril Rating: 4.0 Pearls
Though Couples Negril is more lovey-dovey, and less risqué, than other adult-only resorts such as the nearby Breezes Grand Resort & Spa Negril, it does provide a separate nude beach (the resort seems to think calling it "au naturel" is more tasteful, but we here at Oyster don’t candy coat). The area has its own hot tub, and is somewhat cordoned off from the rest of the property, protecting those who don’t wish to see what lies beyond as much as those who prefer to be naked in quasi-privacy. Still, virtually every third-floor room in building six has a bird’s-eye view of the area’s disrobed goings-on.
Couples Sans Souci Rating: 4.0 Pearls
The resort’s larger beach is a nude beach from morning until evening, and even has a pool that goes right up to the sand. Guests are warned that this "au naturel" beach is not simply "clothing optional" but rather prohibits clothing altogether.
Grand Lido Negril Rating: 3.5 Pearls
Beachside body painting and late-night naked parties in the hot tub make for a nudist-friendly, and definitely R-rated, resort. On the fringes of the beach, this hotel designates the clothing-optional sections. Before entertaining fantasies of the Playboy Mansion, however, consider that the nude beach here is more like a coed locker room at the YMCA, populated in large part by the few people in the world who truly don't care what others think of their bodies -- in other words, seniors and daring drunks.
Sunset Beach Resort & Spa Rating: 3.0 Pearls
Not all topless sunbathers are party-hardy 20-year-olds. Sunset Beach is actually a great choice for families: Couples can bring the kids but still partake in some adult indulgences, like the nude beach down the shore from the resort. There are "no cameras" and "adults only" postings about 50 yards before the beach begins to make sure families don't accidentally stumble upon it -- which is especially important since the beach skirts the question of clothing "optional" by enforcing no bathing suits at all.
Grand Bahia Principe Jamaica Rating: 3.5 Pearls
The Gran Bahia is a good choice for low-key parents and couples interested in naked sunbathing, but not partying. Despite the all-night karaoke, it's a pretty tame crowd, and the nude beach on the far western edge of the property is blocked off by a tall fence.